Roger and Me II *

July 31

* The original Roger and Me was of course a movie by Michael Moore. This is not a sequel . . .

Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. Not all holes, or games, are created equal. ~ George Will

This is a story about Roger Johnson, who is now 72, and a member in good standing of the Fat Boys Walking Club. Roger is still playing baseball. He is a catcher. He travels to the Twin Cities almost every weekend where he plays multiple games, catching them all. We call him the Bionic Man (because Crazy is not polite) . . .

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? ~ Jim Bouton

[Roger taught school, coached stuff, and to this day still referees many events that involve a ball . . . ]

[George is new to the team, and to the Fat Boys Walking Club. He was not available to play on this day because like many others in his age group he had recently undergone a melanoma procedure . . . ]

The key to winning baseball games is pitching, fundamentals, and three run homers. ~ Earl Weaver

The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase. ~ Yogi Berra

[Roger, wearing the tools of ignorance. His catchers mitt is from the 1960’s – I’ve seen it and would have guessed the 40’s . . . ]

[If I squatted to catch, I’d probably fall on my face . . . ]

The Field of Dreams . . .

[Roger, No. 1, steps to the plate . . . ]

Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets. ~ Yogi Berra

[Not bad for a guy seven years into Medicare . . . ]

All ballplayers should quit when it starts to feel as if all the baselines run uphill. ~ Babe Ruth

The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing. ~ Dizzy Dean

People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring. ~ Rogers Hornsby

With the money I’m making, I should be playing two positions. ~ Pete Rose

Baseball is a skilled game. It’s America’s game – it, and high taxes. ~ Will Rogers

If God wanted football played in the spring, he would not have invented baseball. ~ Sam Rutigliano

If you don’t know where you are currently standing, you’re dead. ~ Samuel Beckett

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. ~ Abe Lemon

When you win you eat better, sleep better and your beer tastes better. And your wife looks like Gina Lollobrigida. ~ Johnny Pesky

I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it. ~ Rogers Hornsby

Bob Gibson is the luckiest pitcher I ever saw. He always pitches when the other team doesn’t score any runs. ~ Tim McCarver

Baseball statistics are like a girl in a bikini. They show a lot, but not everything. ~ Toby Harrah

There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither of them work. ~ Charley Lau

[Tossing a bone to Joe Korkowski, local actor and radio personality . . . ]

Chicks who dig home runs aren’t the ones who appeal to me. I think there’s sexiness in infield hits because they require technique. I’d rather impress the chicks with my technique than with my brute strength. Then, every now and then, just to show I can do that, too, I might flirt a little by hitting one out. ~ Ichiro Suzuki

Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and published everyday, like those of a baseball player. ~ William Alexander

Field of Dreams II . . .

I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture. ~ Bob Uecker

Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can’t get you off. ~ Bill Veeck

Up Next: Our retirement . . .

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