Golf III (Part 1)

August 17

Meanwhile, back at the Resorters. We are now into day 6, the penultimate day leading to the championship matches the following day . . .

August 6

[Readying for events of the day, the Super finally threw me over for a younger, better looking guy. John is a high school classmate of Tom Lehman and is allegedly a close personal friend . . . ]

[Judy, a fellow board member for TLHD, reclaimed her golf cart seat, and for circumstances I can no longer recall dubbed me A Big Dope (many heads in the area nodded in assent) . . . ]

The match of the day (for me) was the semi-final match between two defending Resorters champions – Alayna Eldred, in 2014 (when she was 14), and Ale Heinen, the defending champ. I took photos of their swings in “bursts,” meaning that in the course of a single swing I may get 15 photos. While that may be great for swing analysis, it’s a bit too busy for a blog post. So, I have to pick and choose between the myriads . . .

[Here’s Alayna hitting her 2nd shot on the 1st hole. It’s a short par 4, so she hit an iron off the tee to get to this position. (Editor’s note: Obviously, a golfer who knows how to course manage. In my days as a participant in this activity, I played the hole in the same manner – hit your tee ball to a spot about a 100 yards out setting up a nifty wedge 2nd.)]

Golfers don’t scream. Golfers just adjust the pleats in their pants and go from there. That’s about as antagonistic as we get. ~ Gary McCord

Some golfers, we are told, enjoy the landscape; but properly, the landscape shrivels and compresses into the grim, surrealistically vivid patch of grass directly under the golfer’s eyes as he morosely walks toward where he thinks his ball might be. ~ John Updike

If golfers know they look good, they will play better. I think that is valid for men and women. ~ Letitia Baldrige

I never mixed with golfers when I was playing, mainly because I didn’t want to talk golf all night. ~ Nick Faldo

[To this point, you can see everything is swing perfect so far . . . ]

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them. ~ Jay Mohr

[So, that’s 8 of the 13 photos taken during this swing – I’m going to have to do better. I took 185 photos on this day . . . ]

[Under equal time constraints, Ale teeing off on No. 2. Another short par 4 – driver not needed . . . ]

The successful golfers – they’re like astronauts or pilots. They have that demeanor that they can focus and stay within that one moment and nothing distracts them. That’s not me. ~ Ray Romano

I hadn’t thought that women were particularly dangerous golfers. Could that be the reason that the Augusta National Golf club refuses to take down its ‘No Women Allowed’ sign? ~ Madeleine M. Kunin

The biggest thing is just routine. I think that’s the biggest correlation between golfers and basketball players. ~ Stephen Curry

Golf: A plague invented by the Calvinistic Scots as a punishment for man’s sins. ~ James Reston

I don’t let birdies and pars get in the way of having a good time. ~ Angelo Spagnolo

A perfectly straight shot with a big club is a fluke. ~ Jack Nicklaus

[Now having seen both swings, you should have a pretty good idea about how they both generate so much power . . . ]

[And now the stroll down No. 2 . . . ]

[Another gorgeous Chamber of Commerce day, as it was pretty much the whole week . . . ]

[The course was in beautiful shape in spite of the drought . . . ]

[And this hole will go down in golf lore as the hole on which I determined I was no longer capable of playing the game. I 6-putted, despite my best efforts at having my muscle memory determine how hard to hit the ball based on the distance to the hole as I perceived it. Well, I guess it’s complicated . . . ]

[Ale hitting up to the 2nd green . . . ]

Never concede the putt that beats you. ~ Harry Vardon

Nobody asked how you looked, just what you shot. ~ Sam Snead

Mulligan: invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more twenty yard grounder. ~ Jim Bishop

[The 3rd tee – the first chance to break out the driver . . . ]

The secret of golf is to turn three shots into two. ~ Bobby Jones

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. ~ Horace G. Hutchinson

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they’d starve to death. ~ Sam Snead

What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive. ~ Arnold Palmer

Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitude’s of measurements, it invites the attention of perfectionists. ~ Heywood Hale Broun

[Alayna also took the cover off the big stick . . . ]

Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated. ~ Arnold Palmer

Golf tips are like Aspirin: One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you’ll be lucky to survive. ~ Harvey Penick

My swing is so bad, I look like a caveman killing his lunch. ~ Lee Trevino

You’ve got to have the guts not to be afraid to screw up. ~ Fuzzy Zoeller

Tempo is the glue that sticks all elements of the golf swing together. ~ Nick Faldo

[Scenes from the 4th fairway . . . ]

[Ale hitting up to the 45-degree billiard table that is the 4th green . . . ]

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff. ~ David Feherty

Life is not fair, so why should I make a course that is fair. ~ Pete Dye

A great shot is when you pull it off. A smart shot is when you don’t have the guts to try it. ~ Phil Mickelson

A bad attitude is worse than a bad swing. ~ Payne Stewart

[Ale putting down said billiard table. Her caddy is her husband in the Wichita State shirt . . . ]

Happiness is a long walk with a putter. ~ Greg Norman

Don’t be too proud to take lessons. I’m not. ~ Jack Nicklaus

Golf is assuredly a mystifying game. It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will. But such is certainly not the case. ~ Bobby Jones

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle. ~ Anonymous

Up Next: Part 2 . . .

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